Brandie: “My Story Might Help People”

Somewhere, likely not far from where you’re reading this, somebody is experiencing homelessness and all the stark challenges that come with it.

Brandie knows this because, in the past, she endured trauma while facing that same harrowing problem.

Today, Brandie wants to provide comfort to those living in similar situations. It’s one of several reasons why she has quickly become a stalwart member of Abode’s Lived Experience Advisory Board (LEAB).

“I know my story might help people who are going through it and are feeling alone,” she said. “I’m good at this stuff because I’ve been there.”

Brandie’s spent her early childhood in Marin County before moving with her family to Alabama. At age 22, Brandie realized her dream of returning to Northern California. She fell in love with her longtime partner – the father of her daughter. But that youthful ideal eventually turned into a nightmare.

“I didn’t realize how hard California life can be,” she said.

After more than a decade together, the young couple broke up. Lacking finances and a home, Brandie and her daughter stayed with her grandparents. But then tragedy struck. Brandie’s mother died, followed by the death of her grandparents. She and her daugher were not only grief-stricken, they also were suddenly without a home.

What happened next will sound familiar to anyone who has experienced homelessness. Brandie spiraled.

She lived for the next seven years without a home, either couch-surfing or living in tents. Being surrounded by a self-destructive crowd made matters even worse. In addition, a relationship with an abusive partner ended badly. To cope with her compounding struggles, she self-medicated with substance abuse – a coping mechanism that too often turns into addiction. There were many times when she grew very discouraged.

“I used to cry for hours, worried I would never have a home,” she said.

However, Brandie never gave up. She wanted to transform her life, and she was willing to make the difficult but necessary sacrifices to reach that goal. In addition, a helpful counselor guided Brandie to a shelter for unhoused people. That was an important and positive step forward, and she remained persistent in trying to find and keep stable housing.

“Abode and others helped me,” she said. “And it worked. I’m taking care of me for the first time.”

She has been sober for more than 18 months and is now living in supportive housing. Brandie said the first night she stayed in her own place for the first time in years was better than good – it was truly a wonderful moment.

“It was awesome, and I’m just happy to have a safe home,” she said. “I’m living better now than I have in years. My daughter can’t remember me ever being this happy.”

She credits the combination of housing and services that formerly homeless residents receive at supportive housing – such as classes in financial literacy, nutrition, job skills, arts and crafts, and parenting – for helping to point her in the right direction. Now that she has the stability of a home, Brandie wants to assist others. She sees an opportunity to achieve that goal through her work with the LEAB board, which allows members to use their lived experience to help those who are unhoused.

“It’s been a long struggle, but maybe I had to go through that hell to appreciate great things when they came along,” she said. “Now I’d like to help people who’ve gone through what I’ve gone through.”

Brandie said she wants to speak to shelter residents and other groups of people who might need to hear her message of resilience.

“I’ve healed,” she said. “And if I can do it, anybody can.”